Hello once again my Ladies and Gentlemen; I am now 19 and still living leisurely. 6 years now I have been living this way.
I’m ready to begin my life; I’m ready to go to college and be frustrated because exams are coming up and I’m too hung over from the last exam, to study.
Yup. Sounds good.
But I’m still sitting in my room, contemplating my existence. Playing video games, drawing, watching anime and anything I can manage to do with what energy I have. The problem isn’t so much energy as, I’m so bored and depressed, I don’t feel like doing anything! For 6 years, everyone has been envious of my leisurely living.
“Like, OMG! You’re so~ lucky that you don’t have to go to school~ It’s so~ Bo~ring~~~~” (That was teen talk.)
It’s not so boring when you’re just sitting around all day with a headache. Yeah.
But now, I am officially tired of living this way. I’m ready! I honestly don’t care anymore about my health, I want to experience it all! I want to be able to work hard! Sometimes I wish someone would just come along and say: “Congratulations, I want you to work for me! We will provide housing and set up a schedule that fits your health! YAY!”
Sad? I know.. I like to dream too, man.
Even though I’m ready to begin life, I’m actually not to sure about what I would do. I’ve been living the same way and haven’t really put much thought into it; I always say: “It’s my life, let me do what I want!” but if someone were to actually say: “Okay, what is it you want to do?” I don’t think I could answer. I just kind of want to wing it, you know? Just go out there and be! But I know it doesn’t work that way.. (Waitin’ on the Free job guy. Haha.) Iespecially would really like to be able to live on my own, not that I don’t love my parents but I have been so dependent and spoiled by them- I don’t know, I suppose it’s just a growing up thing.
I don’t want to live another 2 years dependent on my parents and holding myself back.
Fukanou, which means Impossible or can’t (Yay Japanese lessons!) which sums up my life, at least it does in my mind. The thing with me is, if I can’t do it at its fullest then I can’t do it at all (One of my many flaws). I’m a very ambitious person, as well; I have big dreams! I want to do something absolutely amazing and I want to do it all whilst traveling. Talk about ambitious. But.. (again)
Yup. Ready but Fukanou. Where are you, guy-with -awesome-job-and-free-housing!? I need you right now, man!
*Sigh* Life is hard, man.